Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
