can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize