I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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