we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
