I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
