youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
