so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
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UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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