I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
