Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is Oprah even human
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
