I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
