im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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