No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
