who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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