you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
