I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize