He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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