You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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