The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All the doctor said was why
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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