oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
