Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize