Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
