Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
