This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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