I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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