I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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