If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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