Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?

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  (858): So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis? http://tfl.nu/f1iy
  Replies (12) Good night (1172) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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  (310): the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him. http://tfl.nu/jidd
  Replies (27) Good night (6831) Bad night (1420) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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  (269): I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/z1gu
  Replies (8) Good night (4779) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.

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  (978): He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore. http://tfl.nu/4chi
  Replies (10) Good night (622) Bad night (4550) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.

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  (707): Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car. http://tfl.nu/kt4h
  Replies (13) Good night (4134) Bad night (2141) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.

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  (519): Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey. http://tfl.nu/gckq
  Replies (10) Good night (1757) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

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  (920): I think there was chlamydia in those woods. http://tfl.nu/fxcg
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (2179) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?

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  (203): Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet? http://tfl.nu/v098
  Replies (14) Good night (3397) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy

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  (614): making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy http://tfl.nu/o6e5
  Replies (7) Good night (2959) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.

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  (+44): He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut. http://tfl.nu/kqfa
  Replies (20) Good night (1821) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.

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  (360): He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning. http://tfl.nu/j239
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (916) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?

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  (479): I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense? http://tfl.nu/pnqf
  Replies (3) Good night (798) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (823) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants

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  (615): those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants http://tfl.nu/jm8o
  Replies (13) Good night (480) Bad night (918) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  you have the best friends

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  (512): they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze (1-512): you have the best friends http://tfl.nu/c4bj
  Replies (4) Good night (2309) Bad night (273)

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