Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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