I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
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Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
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"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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