Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
