I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
