Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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