yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
