I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
honey bunches of taint.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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