def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
