So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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