I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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