I love watching others lives come down to our level.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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