I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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