Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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