I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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