The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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