YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
