yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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