i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
