Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
