Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
they're like a gay fantastic four
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
