So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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