Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
