More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I don't deserve a penis
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
