So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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