I think my vagina is haunted
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize