i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize