I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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