They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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