I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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