You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So vagazzling was a success
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
