just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
