Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
