nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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