he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it was like his penis was on wheels.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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