Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
