Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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